POSITIVE ENERGY

Hi everyone, so I have been feeling a mix of whole lots of emotions and the most recent ones are negativity and stress. I'm writing this post here hoping to cheer all you readers out there and stay positive. Basically, relationship problems but well, we settled that already. Anyway, I'll just focus mainly on today's test as an example.

I had a test today, yes out of nowhere like not even EST (End of Semester Test). It was just a test and guess what? On this exact same day, I have 2 project submissions. Right, though I have to say I'm lucky not to have my presentation today but unlucky because that means I have to present next week which means no to "FINALLY DOWN TO 2 MORE PRESENTATIONS!" This term we have like, 4 project submissions in which, 3 of them requires presentation. Guess what? Two presentations next week and the week after I have another presentation and test during STUDY BREAK! Yes, during the freaking study break. What's worse is that I have my violin grade 6 exam on that week too. I am praying so hard that it doesn't clash with my tests or I am so screwed. It is not just a simple thing like "aiya just skip the violin exam." No. Do you know how much time and money was used on it? Opportunity cost, instead of studying I had to practice violin and on average I need at least 2 hours or practice time. On top of all these, I still have CCAs and because yes I have a lot of commitments and a responsibility to uphold cause I'm in the subcommittee. Gosh, how more stress can I be?

Anywho, I am not the only one with a packed schedule and feeling stress so cheer up everyone alright? Hell month or whatsoever will pass soon.

Right, so back to today... Today's paper was "Financial Accounting". Ya sure, perhaps it is easy to you but not me alright? I worked and practice so hard for it, you have no idea. I am not naturally smart, if I am, I would have been some top scorer or some honor roll kid but no. So please, would you stop putting any expectations on me? I hate it when sometimes people praise me on my studies because I got the results from the hard work I've put in. Hard work do pay off alright? I REPEAT, HARDWORK DO PAY OFF. If it doesn't, it means you're not studying hard enough or you don't understand at all or other psychological factors such as PANIC.

• TIP 1: DO NOT EVER PANIC.

Easier said than done right? I know, because that was exactly what that happened today. There were 4 parts to the question and after half an hour, I was still at the first part. Damn, I'm sure you guys have experienced this PANIC feeling before. Like, we all start to panic and it suddenly gets warmer in the room (cause someone hot is sitting near you jk). You start to break out cold sweat and your mind starts to give up and nothing comes to your mind. Here's how to tackle that mind blank problem...

• TIP 2: BREATHE, SKIP, PRESS ON.

Right, another "easier said than done" thing. I know right? Everything is obviously easier said than done. Like duh? This is where positivity comes in and stamina. Trust me on this because it works and I have experienced this way too many times. The only regret I had was when I completely gave in to negativity and break down during my O Level English Examinations. That was the day I learned my painful lesson. When a blank starts to happen after you start panicking, take a huge breath and calm yourself down. CALM YOUR TITTIES. (guys you have them too) After that, believe in yourself, tell yourself "I CAN DO IT!" or like "DON'T GIVE UP/IN!" Stay POSITIVE at all times and press on. Just remember, if you've studied really hard for it and at the end of the day the paper was so difficult that it screws everyone up, just know that you're not alone. At least you've tried your best right and like, since when are examinations made easy so that everyone can do well right? After your paper, please never ever start thinking about it...

• TIP 3: IT'S OVER.

Assuming you did badly, stop thinking about it and make you feel worse. You're just torturing yourself and that isn't right. What are you, a sadist? Just stop. It's over. You can rant yes, but just don't annoy others. (I tend to annoy others quite a bit because I do get extremely upset) Just stop thinking about, there's nothing you can do. You can't dig a time capsule and go back in time and tell the past you to "don't do this" and "don't do that". Dude, that would spoil the fun of living. We learn and gain new things along the day. Imagine if this didn't happen, would you have realised how much the people around you care for you and try to cheer you up?

Anyway, let me just share with you a little of what happened after the paper. Obviously, I felt like shit and was like on the verge of tears. Yes, I know, boohoo lame. Who even cries about their exam results nowadays? What are you, 3? Look, I am here trying to do well. I am not trying to say that you're not but I can't help how emotionally I can get. Like, emotional is part of me. I cry easily, get moved easily etc. Serious, and I'm really gullible too but let's not go there. But okay, I understand that I annoyed of offended some of you by ranting and saying like "I'll fail" because some of you feel like even when I say such things, I'll pass. Guys, let this be a mistake you make alright? FIRSTLY, I AM NOT SMART AND DO NOT HAVE THE BRAINS. Some people are just smart even if they don't study and that is not me. I have to study to do well. SECONDLY, WHEN I SAY I THINK I'LL FAIL I HONESTLY MEAN "THINK" BECAUSE I AM GUESSING BUT NOBODY KNOWS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. Like, somehow maybe by miracle, there's method marks awarded which saved my ass? Like, I honestly don't know so please, don't say things like "please, you confirm do well, you study so hard what fail?". Guys, seriously, I really don't know that I would do well if I did and if I do badly, at least I predicted it. Don't blame me if I do get better than expected because I really don't know it would be like this because I myself know, how horribly I did for the paper.

Moving on, basically, my friends cheered me up. Like, they crack really funny jokes and it got me laughing. My boyfriend did his best to cheer me up even though he is still sick, which is really touching. My new classmates who try to knock some sense into me because I felt really negative about this whole situation and then, it dawned on me that this is not Ivy. Ivy is positive so stay that way. Even my CCA Laoshi was so sweet and cute in his own way. He saw me looking gloomy and decides not to question further about the test. He seemed really awkward because I could not help how my voice was on the verge of breaking into tears. He quickly changed the topic and then later, he played a sweet viola piece for me haha. It sounded really good. Okay la, maybe not for me HAHAHA but aiya, let's just think of it this way. Besides, he would never know that I assumed such things unless someone told him... HMM WOULD IT BE YOU? SHH, YOU BETTER NOT!!

signing off,

Ivy

#positive #minset #stress #negativity #cope